Like the example of the swimmer in the previous post, using feedback well can challenge people. It’s hard to tell when to persist, and when to adapt.
As a silly but true example, when I needed new tennis shoes, I couldn’t immediately find the brand and type I needed. I wasted a lot of energy angry at shoe stores for not carrying exactly what I needed. I wasted more energy mad at myself for shopping poorly. Then I asked for help, a friend suggested one step, and I quickly accomplished the goal.
It seems best to work energetically and absorbed in the task. But when people find themselves bouncing off bricks walls, they can ask three questions:
1 Is there a better way I can do this?
2 Who can I ask who might know a better way?
3 Who can I ask for help?
Answering those questions can be much harder than asking, but they do help. Sometimes the answers mean keep persisting. Sometimes a cycle begins of action-feedback-adapt. I’ll include more thoughts on finding and using meaningful feedback in my upcoming book.