Excitement and Terror in July, Part 2

Will it work? Can I earn my living mostly by writing? (Teaching is a calling and I love it, so some part-time teaching or tutoring fits right in.) I’m draining the savings, but that was the point of saving, to have a bit of a cushion to get going. It’s probably the most exciting thing I’ve ever done because of the enormous freedom. I can try whatever out-of-the-box ideas occur to me and make it up as I go. It’s also the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done because of the enormous risk. It’s that old fear of failure, and of failure witnessed. The I told you so people. And since it isn’t clear what might work or not, I could spend my life energy trying a lot of things that don’t produce the results I want.

My head knows the back up plan, the fall back positions, and I haven’t bet the farm on achieving this dream. The enormously exciting potential is there, but my heart is afraid.

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